Catatonia
by Yosem Tiva
Summary: Tony gets a phone call from someone he never wanted to hear from again. He goes all stiff and doesn't move. Gibbs headslapes him but he doesn't respond. Can Gibbs get him back? Father/son relationship.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing at all of NCIS as it all belongs to . I just like to toy with the characters, especially Tony.**

**A/N: Just a new idea that crossed my mind while studying, tell me whether u like or not.**

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Tony sat at his desk playing some game on his computer when his telephone rang.

''_Very_ special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, What can I do for you?'' Tony answered cheerfully.

The rest of his collogues did not even bother to look up as they smirked at their friend's tone.

The voice came from the other end and Tony's voice instantly turned into a whisper. A shiver went through his body as he listened to the cold voice talking.

'' Uh…yes…yes sir…no…why I cannot just …?'' Tony ran his hand through his hair nervously as the voice continued his command through the phone.

During his phone call his colleagues started to raise their heads curiously to know what was happening. Tony never used the word ''sir'' with anyone let alone spoke that submissively even to Gibbs.

''Do I have to? '' Tony urged whispering but still fear evident in his voice as he held the phone in his hand and turned his back to his friends. He did not want them to see him panicking or catch the fear in his eyes.

Tony went stiff while speaking as the voice was rising dangerously.

''Sorry sir, it won't happen again'' Tony said as his body stiffened more as he heard the assault from the other end.

''Goodbye, sir'' Tony said and hung up the telephone slowly. He felt his mind shutting down from what was happening. He felt also that his body shutting down.

He barely moved in his chair and stared at the file in front of him that he felt his body go quiet rigid. He could not move and he felt that his body refused to obey him anymore.

Ziva and McGee shared worried glances as they saw the stiff posture Tony sat with after that phone call ended. They turned their glances to Gibbs and found him also giving worried gazes at his senior agent.

Half an hour later, the worry was eating all the three agents up. They monitored Tony intently as his body was still stiff. Gibbs noticed how Tony did not move one single muscle since that phone call ended. He had to check on him.

''DiNozzo'' Gibbs called and waited for Tony's dutiful answer, but it did not come.

''DiNozzo, are you turning deaf?'' Gibbs called again wishing that his reprimand would wake his agent from his reverie.

Still no answer came

''Tony??'' Gibbs questioned as he stood up. Now worry was seeping through his voice as he used his agent's first name.

He stood in front of his desk and Tony did not even look up.

''Tony, you with me?'' Gibbs asked again more softly this time.

When no answer came again Gibbs decided to take action.

He crouched in front of his agent's desk to make an eye contact with him. He was shocked to find his agent's green eyes which were once lively and sparkling now look dark and icy.

Tony looked as if he was frozen. His muscles tight and his jaw tightly clenched. His eyes were cold and not looking at Gibbs but through him as if he did not exist.

A shiver went through Gibbs as he saw that icy look in Tony's eyes.

His whole body was totally stiff as if he had been in a freezer. Gibbs tried to make eye contact but failed to.

''Tony''

''Tony''

''TONY''

He head slapped his agent and hoped it would work.

It did not

Now he started to panic. This could not be good.

''McGee''

''Yes boss? '' Tim answered as he had already stood back looking worriedly at Tony while Gibbs tried to talk to him.

''Get Ducky up here NOW''

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**So what do you think? Does it worth continuing? Tell me and please review :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, for those who wanted more I give thee this chapter ;) …lol…read and tell me what u think.**

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Tony still did not move while Gibbs tried to talk to him. He kept staring in front of him with icy eyes.

''Tony'' Gibbs tried for the tenth time but with no response

Ziva was watching from the back with wide eyes. At first she thought Tony was performing one of his jokes, but after half an hour of no movement at all she was not so sure of her theory.

McGee and Ducky at his tail appeared seconds later.

''Oh, my dear boy. What happened to you?'' Ducky was shocked by the posture of Tony's body.

''Duck, what's wrong with him?'' Gibbs asked immediately at Ducky's arrival

''Patience Jethro, I have just arrived. What happened to him?'' Ducky asked as he started to crouch beside Tony trying to get his attention.

'' He was fine until he received a phone call from god knows who, then he sat still for about half an hour without even moving a single muscle'' Gibbs answered exasperated at the path of the conversation

They were talking about Tony as if he was not there and that just annoyed him that Tony did not respond with one of his jokes as usual.

''Anthony?'' Ducky tried and when he had no answer he got up.

''Anthony?'' Ducky tried again as he circled his desk to stand beside the stiff agent.

''Jethro, we have to act fast'' Ducky's urgent voice startled all of the agents around him.

''What, what is it, Duck?'' Gibbs's own voice showed the fear he felt.

''Young Anthony needs to be taken to a hospital right now'' Ducky said as he stepped closer to Tony's chair

''Why?''

''I'm not quite sure Jethro, but it seems that young Anthony has gone into catatonic state. It must be that phone call he had '' Ducky said as he moved Tony's chair back while Tony still sitting on it.

''Ziva, call 911, let them know what's happening'' Gibbs commanded

''Now Jethro, help me move him to a more comfortable position'' Ducky said as he has made Tony face him with the chair.

Ducky and Gibbs each took one of Tony's hand that still held the file in them. Ducky started to gently pull the file from his hands.

Gibbs tried to straighten his fists gently. He felt how stiff Tony's hands were and he got angry. _Who did this happen to you Tony? I swear to God I'll hunt who did this to you down._

As Ducky pulled the file from Tony's hand and replaced it on the desk. Gibbs tried again with Tony's stiff hands to straighten them.

They suddenly heard a whimper from Tony

Gibbs bent down and looked at Tony's eyes, but found them still as dark and icy as they were half an hour ago.

''DiNozzo? You with me? ''

He heard no reply and no other sound

''Maybe he will move soon '' Ducky said as he started to straighten Tony's hunched shoulders while Gibbs still tried to change the position of Tony's stiff fists.

Another whimper stopped him in his tracks. Ducky also stopped trying to change Tony's position

''Anthony?'' Ducky asked this time while Gibbs's eyes skimmed his agent

''Can you hear me my boy?''

''Hurt…hurt… hurt…hurt'' Tony said the words through his clenched teeth.

His face was still passive. His eyes were dark and icy as if someone else was talking.

Tony did not stop his mantra as Ducky and Gibbs stopped trying to change his position

''Hurt…hurt…hurt''

''It's ok, Tony. No one is gonna hurt you Tony'' Gibbs tried to soothe the whimpering sounds coming from his agent

He could feel the pain in his voice but he had no idea what to do.

''Hurt…hurt…hurt''

''Tony, Tony, no one is gonna hurt you. You're safe'' Gibbs continues

Gibbs words seemed to calm Tony a little as his continuous whimper lessened and then subdued.

Gibbs did not know whether he should feel relieved or worried. It seemed that Tony was not in much pain now, but he stopped responding or acting at all again.

Gibbs did the only thing he can

''McGee''

''Yes, boss?''

''Trace the last phone call that DiNozzo had. I want you to tell me who was it, what did he say, how he knows Tony, what he wanted, and what did he DO?'' Gibbs ordered as his voice was rising rapidly from anger.

''Yes, boss''

''NO…No…No…no…no…no'' was heard from Tony and fear was evident in his voice.

Gibbs crouched again beside his agent and looked at his eyes. He saw a flicker of fear in his eyes before they turned icy and dark again.

''Tony, Tony, calm down. Nobody'll hurt you. I'm gonna catch the bastard that did this to you'' Gibbs stated

''NO…No…No…no…no…no''

Tony's mantra was repeated and his voice was rising despite his stiffening body.

''Tony, I'm here. I've got your six. No one'll hurt you. I swear'' Gibbs said as he looked directly at his agent's dark icily eyes.

''No…No…No'' Tony continued but his voice subdued gradually as Gibbs kept his eye contact.

Gibbs wanted to releive Tony from his painful posture, but every contact they made with his body seemed to be excruciatingly painful.

''Tony?'' Gibbs asked as he found Tony very calm and still again.

''Duck?'' Gibbs queried

Ducky monitored Tony and then he put his hand in front of Tony's airway.

''His breathing is getting shallow; we need him to be moved to the hospital quickly'' Ducky urged as worry seeped through his voice.

''MCGEE, time of medics' arrival?''

''They arrived boss. They're on their way up''

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**Liked it? If you want me to continue please tell me :)**

**Yosem**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Another chapter for the great reviewers**

Gibbs was losing his patience. The paramedics have not arrived yet and Tony's breathing was getting shallower by the second.

Things turned hectic after that. Tony's breathing deteriorated that Ducky could not feel him taking any air in. Ducky shouted for Gibbs to put Tony on the floor.

Gibbs was torn between moving him and causing him more pain and letting him sit with his shallow breathing.

Gibbs finally made his decision.

''McGee''

''Boss?''

''Hold Tony with me and stretch him on the floor''

''Err... Should not we wait for the paramedics, they're already in the building and any move seems to cause Tony more pain'' Tim answered as he his face turned more pale.

''MCGEE, DO YOU WANT HIM TO SUFFOCATE, just help me" Gibbs ordered irritated. He could feel Tony's breathing getting shallower.

It seemed as if Tony was giving up on living. It seemed that he did not want anything to do with the living any longer. His body was shutting down.

McGee went by the other side of Tony's chair. Gibbs looked at him in the eye intently and then said '' You do as I tell you, he may speak, even scream, but you only do as I tell you. Got it?''

Tim gulped and then said ''Yes, boss''

''Now, on three. I will grab his hand and move him to the ground. We'll try to lay him on his side so he could breathe better''

''Ok''

''One''

Gibbs and Tim both held one of Tony's arms. Immediately, whimpers started to come out of Tony's clenched teeth.

Tim looked at Gibbs and gulped, they have not even applied pressure to his arms. They were simply holding him.

Gibbs kept his eyes on Tony after checking to see if Tim was still holding himself together. Tony seemed in a lot of pain and Gibbs did not know why.

Gibbs took a deep breath as the weak whimpers continued with shaky voice as Tony's breathing turned shallower and shallower by the minute.

''Two''

Gibbs and McGee held Tony's arms tighter ready to pull him up.

Tony released anguish cry through his still clenched teeth. He was in excruciating pain now.

''Tony, I've got your six.'' Gibbs said the only thing he could calm Tony with.

The cries got even higher when Gibbs said that.

Gibbs's heart tore for how his agent seemed to be calling him. Tony seemed screaming for Gibbs and he needed his help.

''Three, NOW McGee''

Gibbs and Tim both pulled Tony up. They found that Tony was not holding any of his body weight. Tony's cries got louder and louder, almost as if they were sobs.

Gibbs and Tim pulled Tony while he started repeating

'' No…no…no...no…No…no… stop…stop…stop…stop''

They put him on the floor and then felt his sobs stop abruptly.

Ducky pushed Gibbs aside and put his hand again in Tony's airway.

''He stopped breathing _on purpose_. Dear God, Anthony, breathe, breathe''

Gibbs could not believe his ears

He kneeled down and looked at Tony's icy green eyes

''DiNozzo, DINOZZO, do not you dare gave up. If the world gave up on you, I won't. Do NOT you dare gave up, AND THAT'S AN ORDER'' Gibbs shouted at the stiff body in front of him.

Nothing happened and Tony did not seem to breathe

Gibbs was now holding the tears that were threatening to fall. He was still kneeling looking at the dark eyes of his agent. Tony's eyes looked as if they were pleading him to give him a reason to live, to fight the miserable life he's living, to go back to the torture he went through with every day.

Gibbs got closer to Tony's face and then whispered in his ear '' If thought that every one gave up on you, I still did not _son''_

Tony's sharp intake of breathe and sob was heard and everybody sighed in relief.

Gibbs knew that Tony got his message. Tony needed those words now more than ever. But Tony was still stiff and not moving.

Any indication of life inside of his body was from the anguish sobs that was heard.

A minute later the paramedics arrived and shoved Gibbs to the back. They start sticking different needles in Tony's arm, shouting orders.

Tony still sobbed and whimpered whenever he was touched. Gibbs was going to kill if he did not know that they were only tying to help him.

Finally they sedated Tony and started for the elevator.

The group followed closely. Gibbs turned around to tell McGee to keep searching for whoever called Tony and found that Tim followed closely holding a laptop in hand.

''I downloaded the search on my laptop boss, I'm coming too'' McGee stated as he followed behind.

Ziva and Ducky also followed them to the elevator.

**How do you feel about the story now? Shall I go on? Tell me and review :) **


	4. Chapter 3

**Thank you guys for the great reviews, alerts, favorites...etc. Here's another small chapter, sorry, I'm having my mid-term exam on Tuesday and Wednesday; wish me luck, but I still love to post this story.**

The ride for the hospital went as a blur. Gibbs went with Tony in the ambulance while the rest went into one of the company cars.

Tony was still unconscious as the paramedics found it the best to sedate him. The driver of the ambulance swerved swiftly while driving out of speed limits in a way that would have made Gibbs proud if he was not so worried and focused on Tony.

Ziva followed close by. She was driving even faster than her usual fast rate. Ducky and McGee held for dear life every time Ziva took a left turn or saw a car coming there way as they drove on the opposite lane.

She could not believe what was happening. A few hours ago Tony was joking around playing some game on his computer and now he was being moved to a hospital because of a phone call he had. How a phone call could do that to someone!! Ziva could not believe it and Tony seemed as if he had given up his life.

She accelerated even faster when this thought crossed her mind. She needed to find whoever did that to him and hurt him. And she could only think of only one person who could affect Tony that much. Ziva had had her fair share of problems and issues as a child brought up to be an assassin.

McGee sat in the passenger seat having similar speculations about Tony's condition although, he could not think straight as Ziva put more pressure on the car to run faster after the ambulance. However, Ducky sat silently while the car swerved speeding on the road. He knew exactly what happened to Tony. He knew a little about Tony's past and he knew the only person who could cause him this much pain. He knew from Tony's medical file what happened although the younger agent never talked about it.

''Oh, Dear'' Ducky exclaimed as another crossed his mind.

''What is Ducky?'' Ziva queried looking in the mirror back to Ducky.

''Have anyone informed Abigail of Tony's condition?''

''Uh…oh no, she's gonna kill me'' McGee answered as he started to pick up his cell phone and dialed Abby's number.

''McGee!!! Where're you guys? I went up and found no one was there and then I heard an ambulance's awful sirens and it seems that one of the agents collapsed in the bullpen. I have been worried, but then I figured you had a case. But I had no evidence to process so I knew you had none and then I went to Ducky and I cannot find him…..'' Abby's panicking voice reached McGee as he gulped visibly and then tried to interrupt her ramblings.

''Abby…''

''And Jimmy, I cannot find Jimmy either. He's not on…..''

''ABBY''

''Tim?''

''I do not want you to panic but Tony is being moved to Bethesda hospital''

The three passengers grimaced as they heard Abby outburst.

''WHAT? WHY DID NOT YOU SAY SO FROM THE BEGINNING? Is he ok? What happened to him? Tell me McGee ''

Ducky saved Tim at the last minute and said ''Young Anthony has went into Catatonic state, Abigail''

''WHAT, NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN. Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. What if it does not work this time?''

The three of them raised their eye brows.

''Abigail? Has this happened before to Young Anthony? Do you know anything about it?'' Ducky asked hastily, this could help solving the mystery they were facing.''

''Um…Uh…Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. I'm sorry Ducky there's no time. I've to go, I'll meet you all at the hospital'' And then she hang up

Both Ducky and Tim just stared at the phone while Ziva gave a worried glance their way before continuing to drive.

**Do you still want me to continue? I think I may post another one today, just need some review *hint * hint*I don't know whether I should put ships or not into this story, tell me what u prefer and I will consider them in the story, also if u need somthin specific tell me and I'll try to include it. I still have many ideas for this story, so stay tuned. **


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews guys, here's another chapter for the great reviews I got**

The ambulance arrived at the hospital safely. Tony was on a gurney unconscious as he was still sedated. The paramedics have succeeded in straightening Tony's body into a more comfortable position, but it still was stiff as a doll, but somehow managed to take Gibbs's hand in his while he was sedated.

Gibbs ran with the paramedics as they went through the hallway in the direction of the ER section.

''Sir, you're not allowed here'' A nurse stood between Gibbs and the gurney that held Tony with doctors all around him.

Gibbs just glared at her but the middle aged woman did not seem the least fazed about it.

'' Sir, you have to wait here. You cannot help him, sir. The doctors here are doing their best''

''OK'' Gibbs replied gruffly.

He sat on one of the squeaky uncomfortable chairs and waited. Two minutes later, Ziva, McGee, and Ducky came in hurrying.

''Jethro?''

''They're not letting me anything; I don't know what's happening''

''I'll go and see what I can find out'' Ducky stated as he went to the reception desk.

Tim and Ziva sat down on the uncomfortable chairs not knowing what to do.

Gibbs just sat and buried his head in his hands. He did not know what was going on and he did not like not knowing. What happened to Tony was just some health issue. It was something that ran deeper.

''McGee, have you found who made the last call at DiNozzo's desk?''

''Uh…Yes, it was made from a private phone. The number is protected and untraceable…b but I'm working on it, boss'' McGee stammered as he answered.

Gibbs just stared at Tim for a while and then decided that it was not his fault. He was just angry for what was happening to Tony and he did not want to take it out on the poor kid.

''Gibbs?'' Ziva asked unsure if she should mention their conversation with Abby or not.

''David?''

''Did you know that Tony had this…this condition before?''

''WHAT? No, did you?'' Gibbs asked as his eyes were now murderous.

''Uh…no, but Abby did" Ziva answered calmly

Gibbs stood up from his chair and his eyes reflecting the fury and rage that was going to explode from him ''What did you say Officer David?'' Gibbs asked as he pronounced each word clearly while walking into Ziva's personal space.

''I…I thought you knew, I mean, Tim called Abby while I was driving and told her, she started saying not again and that she did not know if he would pull through it again or not, and then she hung up saying she would meet us at the hospital'' Ziva replied as fast as she could as she noticed how Gibbs's face was turning into slightly red.

''What?'' this time it was more to himself than to Ziva.

Gibbs ran his hand through his silver hair nervously. Has this happened before to Tony? How could he miss it? And Abby did not tell him?? Of course Tony and Abby shared secrets. They were very close, almost a brother and sister, but Abby always told him when she got worried about Tony or felt that something was wrong.

Gibbs paced in the waiting room. He could not take it any more. What was happening to Tony? Why did not Tony tell him?

When he did not find any of the doctors or Duck, he decided to go check for himself.

''Boss? Where're you going?'' McGee asked, but got no answer as Gibbs went straight into the room where Tony was taken. But before he could enter, a tall woman in platform black shoes came running.

''GIBBS'' Abby shouted as she crashed into his ready hands.

''Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Have you seen him Gibbs? Is he ok? How bad is it? I do not know if I can take. I do not know if HE could make it through'' Abby said as tears started to trickle from her green eyes.

''Shhhh…it's ok. He's gonna be ok. Now, tell what you know?'' Gibbs said as he freed Abby from the embrace and stared at her with his blue eyes. They were giving him away, he was getting really worried.

Abby avoided his glare and stared at the floor.

''Abby…'' Gibbs said as he put his finger under her chin and push it up until her green eyes met his.

''I cannot tell you Gibbs, I promised…'' Abby said as a choked sob escaped her throat.

''Why not Abs?'' Gibbs asked. He never saw Abby so sad and suffering from her promises. He knew that Abby always keeps a secret and that's what made her and Tony close friends. Tony felt safe to let Abby know his feelings and secrets.

''I promised Gibbs, I promised'' Abby insisted as she met Gibbs's stare with her own.

''He made me promise never to tell. Even to you, I told him that you should know but he insisted. I'm sorry Gibbs'' Abby said as more tears trickled down her pale face.

Gibbs held Abby in another embrace not sure whether to push her to tell him, or just wait for the doctor to tell them what's happening to his senior field agent. Gibbs knew that it must have to do with Tony's father. He knew the minute he told him that he would never give up on him that it was about his father; the father that managed to ruin his life always. But he had to be sure. He would wait for McGee to confirm it before he made a move.

''It's ok Abs'' Gibbs soothed the Goth in his arms. Another figure appeared at the hall way.

''Jethro, Abigail you arrived''

''Duck''

''Hi, Ducky''

''Anything yet, Duck?''

''The doctors are very confused Jethro. He's awake, he did not move yet. And there seem to be no physical reason for his pain.'' Ducky said as he eyed the crying Goth.

He took a deep breath and said

''Abigail, what do you know about young Anthony going through this before?''

''I cannot Ducky, I promised, but I guess I have to help him so I can tell, right?'' she was reluctant to tell her friend's secret, she needed to be sure.

''Yes, Abigail. You would be helping him'' Ducky answered exasperated. He had to find the answer to let the doctors give Tony the proper medication.

''I need to see him Ducky, then I'll know for sure'' Abby said as she wiped her stained face from the tears she was shedding.

''But, my dear…he's in no state for a conversation''

''I know Ducky, his eyes'll tell me'' Abby insisted and Ducky knew that there's no other way out of it.

''Okay''

''I'm coming too'' Gibbs said gruffly after he stayed silent watching Abby's determination.

''But, Gibbs…''Abby was starting to object when he raised his hand in the air to stop her mid sentence.

''I need to see him as much as you do''

Tears started to reappear in her eyes again as she engulfed Gibbs in a fierce hug '' He'd love that Gibbs, you do not know how much it'll mean to him''

''Yeah, I know Abs''

**So, what you think? It's just getting more complicated, but I promise to solve at least part of the problem the next chapter. Tell me what u think, is it still interesting?**


	6. Chapter 5

**Here's another chapter. Enjoy!!!**

Gibbs and Abby headed for Tony's room following a nurse in blue scrubs.

When the door opened, Abby started to sob and clutched Gibbs for support while Gibbs blinked several times to prevent the tears from falling. This was too much for both of them.

On the bed sat the ghost of his senior field agent. _His son_. Tony was sitting rigid in his position on his bed. His face was pale and his once brilliant green eyes were now unblinking, still icy and dark. His face held no emotion at all. It seemed as if he was frozen as he kept staring ahead of him. His body was stiff and his hands were placed on each side of him with no movement at all. He seemed like a doll and that if you moved too much he would break. He did not make any gesture that he sensed their presence at all. There was an oxygen mask over his nose to guarantee that he was breathing. Several tubes were attached to his arms probably providing him with the necessary fluids for his stiff body. He looked in pain and his body was just rigid. The only indicator of him being alive was the beeping of the heart monitor machine.

''Tony'' was the only word Gibbs could muster at that moment. He knew that Tony would be in a bad shape, but he did not expect to see that, a stiff body, just staring into space.

Abby's sobs shook him out of his reverie. He tore his eyes away from the pale figure laying on the bed to find Abby standing by Tony's bed side fighting with every power she mustered not to engulf the body in front of her in a bear hug.

Gibbs touched her shoulder and she immediately flung herself into another crushing hug at him. He did not know what to do. Abby held Tony's secret and it must be a burden to carry. She did not know what to do. Should she tell them to save him or keep his secret safe and save him the humiliation?

''Oh, Gibbs, I never thought it would be that bad. I never did. He told me about it but he never told me it would be that bad'' Abby said between her sobs.

''Shhhh…he needs us now Abs''

''Yes, yes, he needs us now'' Abby said as she wiped her face and went to one side of Tony's bed, while Gibbs went to the other.

''Tony, Tony…''Abby whispered as she approached Tony's face.

''Careful Abby, you might hurt him, he was in pain whenever anyone touched him'' Gibbs warned as Abby started to take Tony's hand in hers.

''Don't worry Gibbs, I know what to do. He told me you know'' Abby said as she started to place Tony hands in hers.

Gibbs stared at Abby for explanation and he did not get any he just sat on the other chair waiting for her to reveal Tony's secret.

''Tony…Tony…it's Abby.'' Abby said and held his hand.

A small whimper came from the stiff body sitting in front of her. Tony felt Abby sit beside him but his body would no more obey his command. He tried to speak but it only came as whimpers and even that was painful to do.

''I know baby, but Gibbs is here. He's worried can you believe it?''

Another whimper came from Tony as his face still did not change at all. His hand was clasping Abby's and still holding a passive face.

''I know. But I need to ask you something, can I tell them what you have so you can get all better Tony''

''No… no…no…no…no'' Tony whispered between his clenched teeth still his face frozen. He was panicking; he could not let Gibbs know. He would hate him. He would think less of him. He did not want the only _good_ father figure he had to laugh at his poor condition and mock him.

Gibbs just could not believe why not Tony would want to tell him, he could see Tony was in much pain. Tony still did not want anyone to know.

''But, Tony. I know we talked about it before, but at least Gibbs needs to know'' Abby said as she could not take the way Tony's face seemed in pain and not moving.

Tony tantrum kept on '' No…no…no…no''

''Tony I know that repetitive speech is only the effect of your state. I know that you want everyone to know. I know it hurts but you need to let them help you. And I do not know if I could bring you back by myself'' Abby said whispering to Tony as his whispers of 'no' continued.

Gibbs was getting agitated, Abby seemed to be talking to herself if not increasing Tony's plea. He felt that Tony knew what was happening around him but his body would not allow him to react or respond. He felt Tony's distress and how his breathing was now becoming shallower as Abby kept pushing him. Gibbs knew that she only meant well but Tony was getting worse. His breathing was heaved even though there was an oxygen mask that helped his breathing.

''Abs, let it go. The doctors will find it in his medical file'' Gibbs warned as he stood on the other side of Tony's bed.

''No Gibbs, they won't. He covered it well and I just want him to let me tell you'' Abby said as she stepped away from Tony facing Gibbs.

She knew that now Tony was getting tired and uncomfortable, but she needed to let him know that family was there for him. She needed to tell him that no one will judge him, not like what happened to him in the past.

Gibbs just stared at her, he feared for his agent. Tony seemed lost and he needed help. Gibbs wanted to help him, but he also did not want to push him. He was already starting to reject Abby's logic and not responding to her pleading.

He stood up still staring at Abby to prove his point. Abby just stared at Gibbs for a few seconds and then she realized how worried Gibbs was.

She leaned to Tony and whispered in his ear '' He won't think less of you Tony. He's worried, I can see it Tony. I promise you, he won't treat you like your father did''

Tony's sharp intake of breath wasn't missed by either Abby or Gibbs. Gibbs has heard every word Abby said and just could not take it any more. What was Tony hiding and feared that if he told Gibbs he would act like his father. Gibbs was a little hurt when he thought that Tony was comparing him to his father. He knew little about Tony's father, but he could tell how he ill-treated Tony. And he was nothing like that father, he respected Tony and he was very proud of the man he had become. He thought of him as the son he never had. But what would it be that scared him so much?

He approached Tony's bed and held his hand despite the small whimpers that came from Tony.

''Tony, whatever it is, you can tell me. I have your six'' Gibbs said as tightened his grip on Tony's hand.

To both Abby's and Gibbs's amazement, Tony clenched Gibbs's hand tighter and then a single tear trickled down his face. His icy green eyes turned alive again and Tony said still not moving his head, so Gibbs had to move closer to get in Tony's eye sight.

''Gibbs…Gibbs…'' Tony fought against his own body; he needed to tell Gibbs what he wanted. He felt better when he heard Abby's word and then followed by Gibbs's firm attitude to accept whatever he told him. He wanted to tell him, but his own body was having other thoughts. He fought his best to tell him.

''Easy Tony, take it easy'' Gibbs said as he held Tony's hand firmer.

''I…I…I…n…need you t…to know'' Tony exhaled deeply as his stiff body objected the slight movement of his jaws.

''Ok Tony. I'm glad that you want to tell me. Take it easy now'' Gibbs said as he patted his stiff shoulders to let him relax.

''T…tell him Abs…tell him'' Tony said before his body went rigid again and his green eyes darken and went icy again.

**I know you all hate me for stopping here, but things were hectic and I was having my exams. I hope you enjoyed it. What do u think Still interesting? They may seem ooc but u have to consider the situation. **


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank u guys for the lovely reviews; sorry for not answering all of them, my exams r taking all my time, college is really exhausting. **

''T…tell him Abs…tell him'' Tony said before his body went rigid again and his green eyes darkened and went icy again.

A single tear slide down Abby's pale face as she held Tony's hand in hers gently. She has finally convinced him to tell Gibbs.

She had conflicting emotions. She looked a little shocked when Tony turned very stiff again, but she was relieved that he gave her permission to tell Gibbs.

She looked at Gibbs and found a look on his face he rarely held. He looked worried and shaken. His icy blue eyes were now replaced with a look of extreme worry and concern. Gibbs did not even have this concerned look for her when she was being chased by her ex.

''Abs…tell me'' Gibbs commanded Abby as he tried to regain his composure. It was too much even for him. He was overwhelmed when Tony struggled only to give him permission to know about another piece of his troubling past. He was worried and afraid for him when he turned rigid again.

''Gibbs…I'm glad that he agreed. Well…where I begin? '' Abby thought as she still held Tony's hand in hers while rubbing comforting circles with her thumbs. She knew Tony was listening to them and he just could not respond.

''Why do not you start with what you know?'' Gibbs answered impatiently looking every now and then at his agent to see if any change occurred.

''Ok Gibbs. Tony first told me about this two years ago. He was having difficulty with finishing some search on some case and asked me to help him. At first I thought he was only pretending to be tired and just wanted someone to finish his work for him, so I helped him with the search and kept an eye on him, he was really tired and tensed Gibbs'' Abby sighed and continued '' then after that he took two days off if you remember Gibbs'' Abby eyed Gibbs as he nodded his agreement. Tony never took some time off; he always wanted to be working, so when it happened it was quiet a surprise for him. He did not say anything as he did not want to interfere in Tony's personal life.

''I went to Tony that day to check up on him as I had my own suspicions. And I knocked for like fifteen minutes before he opened the door. He looked very ill and was walking very slowly. When I asked him about it, it took me over three hours to try and get something out of him'' Abby said as she recalled the panic she felt that night.

''He would not let me tell anyone about it, he refused to go to a hospital and asked me to get him his pills Gibbs''

''They were anti-depression'' Abby said as she looked at Tony who just breathed deeply while staring to a spot on the white wall with his icy eyes.

''He was depressed?'' Gibbs asked cautiously not in a mocking tone but a rather firm one to prove that he was welling to understand whatever reason it was.

''Yeah Gibbs, his depression caused him physical pain_, extreme_ physical pain. He told me that this time it was a mild state; he did not freeze in his place, only just moving slower. I did not know what to do Gibbs and I panicked. Tony told me to just keep him company while he struggled with his body to recover and I stayed with him for those two days. He needed help drinking Gibbs, it was really hard for him, and I promised I would keep his secret if he let me help him. So he allowed me to help him around''

''Was it the first time it happened, Abs?'' Gibbs asked still not allowing Tony to sense any discomfort or irony in his voice.

''No, it was one of many times Gibbs. It was the first he had it since he joined NCIS, and now this is the second time'' Abby answered as she turned her attention to Tony's pale face.

''Did he tell you about the severe times he had before Abs? And what caused them?'' Gibbs asked as he put a hand over her shoulder encouraging her to continue.

''Yes'' Abby's small voice answered as she started to sob. That situation was just so stressing and she could not bear to go through those horrible moments again.

''Tell him…tell him…tell him'' Tony's whispers reached Abby as she even cried harder when she spotted the tears trickling down Tony's face at the recall of the memories he held. It was more vivid to him, Abby only heard the agonizing story, but he lived it, felt it, and was tortured at only the remembrance.

''I'm sorry Tony to bring this back'' Abby said as she continued to cry while holding Tony's hand in hers.

''Tell him…tell him'' Tony insistent voice only caused more tears from Abby's eyes and Gibbs engulfed her in an embrace. He knew that Abby was just feeling bad for Tony _for her brother_, but he needed to calm Tony. He needed to comfort _his son_ and tell him that everything is going to be alright. But he needed to find out what happened first so he would know what to do.

''Tell him Abs…Tell him…Just tell him'' Tony said between clenched teeth as his own tears fled from his eyes. He was in much pain, but he needed Gibbs to know what happened. He needed someone to tell him that everything was going to be ok. That it was not too late.

**A/N: Ok, sorry for the short chapter, but my term exams are approaching. I have tunes and tunes of studying and assignments to do, I'm sorry for that; wish me luck. I should warn u that my updating could get slower on both my stories ''Catatonia'' and ''I'll protect you'' and maybe I'll turn to hiatus until I finish my exams. Either way, I'll write the condition of the stories in their summary. Review and tell me what u think, still many troubling secrets to reveal. **


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm baaaack, finally I finished my exams. Hopefully the updates will be a lot quicker now. Thanks for the great reviews. This a little long to compensate my long absence. Enjoy!!**

''Tell him Abs…Tell him…Just tell him'' Tony said between clenched teeth as his own tears fled from his eyes. He was in much pain, but he needed Gibbs to know what happened. He needed someone to tell him that everything was going to be ok. That it was not too late.

Abby took a deep breath as she tried to control her sobs and tears for Tony's sake. She looked into his dark frozen green eyes, still holding his hand is hers.

''Ok Tony, I'll tell him, but I do not want you to do what you did the first time you told me about it'' Abby said as she ran soothing circles with her thumb through Tony's hand. She looked at his face hoping to get any response out of him.

Gibbs watched the silent plea in Abby's eyes and did not understand what was happening. Tony must've done something really bad to make Abby that concerned. He wanted to ask her what Tony did but figured that now that Tony gave her permission to tell him, she would tell him everything_, eventually_.

Tony's face still seemed passive and cold, his eyes still dark and unreadable. But Gibbs spotted the squeeze Tony gave to Abby's hand.

''Okay , Tony but you promised now'' Abby said as more tears slide down her face and she continued '' and do not you dare break that promise and go into that mood again. You're already hurt enough'' she said and more tears stained her pale face.

Gibbs gave her shoulder a squeeze to let her know that she does not have to take care of Tony alone anymore. He needed to know what Tony did when he told the story, but he needed to know the story itself first.

''Whenever you're ready Abbs'' Gibbs said still holding her shoulder, he knew that Abby and Tony both needed physical contact. As much as comforting words may seem, both of them needed to communicate with others and get assured through that physical contact.

Tony needed head slaps to know that someone still wanted him and Gibbs delivered. As much as Gibbs did not like scolding his agent in that way, he knew that it was the only was to make feel wanted and needed by others.

And Abbs, she always needed hugging and close proximity to get comfortable. As much as people saw Abby the cheerful, self-confident Goth that she was, she had her own insecurities as much as DiNozzo. She would only feel people's love by getting a hug every now and then.

Now he was holding Abbs's shoulder to assure her that she was not alone and she, by turn, she was holding Tony's right hand in hers.

Abby wiped the tears that still stained her beautiful pale face and took a deep breath and said '' okay, here we go''

Gibbs shifted his looks every now and then between Abby and Tony to make sure they both seemed okay.

''Tony…Tony told me that his depression is only caused by one thing, he assured me that work never affects his mood nor does it even in the slightest cause him that state.'' Abby was talking slowly fearing to reach the goal from this whole story. She wanted to give Tony time to prepare himself for the vicious memories to come back.

Gibbs listened patiently as he knew how Abby was avoiding the main reason for their conversation.

''when Tony five…five years old'' Abby started the real story as she felt a lump in her throat and tried to hold her tears while she told Gibbs what happened.

''His…his mother died in a hit and run accident. He was with her the day she died, he…he did not know what to do. He was only a small child''.

Abby could not prevent her own tears anymore. She squeezed Tony's hand and wiped the single tear that fled his icy green eyes ''They were half way crossing the street when a speeding car was approaching them rapidly and the traffic lights were red, his mother lifted him in her arms and ran, but could not make it through the long street, it was only a few seconds and she barely managed to pick up Tony in her hands.''

A sob escaped her throat as she tried to control herself for Tony's sake. Gibbs was just shocked but waited for the rest of the story to come. He squeezed her shoulder assuring her that he was still there and at the same moment Abby tightened her grip around Tony's hand as Tony held hers tightly as he listened to his story life being retold.

He could recall everything as if it was being replayed in a movie in front of him. He held Abby's hand tighter; he did not want to sink back in those dark memories alone.

Abby took a deep calming breath and continued '' Tony's mother, Gabriella was her name by the way Gibbs, a very beautiful name if you ask me'' Abby said looking at Gibbs and her eyes lit up a bit.

Gibbs knew exactly what Abby was trying to do, she needed a let out, she needed to ramble , but it was not time for ramblings yet.

''Abbs'' Gibbs cleared his throat

''Sorry Gibbs. Okay, Gabriella tried to lessen the impact from Tony's small body, so she turned her back to the car as it hit her and hugged Tony's small body tightly close to her chest''

A small whimper escaped the stiff body sitting on the bed; Gibbs could tell how hard it should be for Tony to see his mother die this way.

''I'm sorry Tony, I really am, I'm sorry to bring it back'' Abby started to apologize repeatedly when she saw how Tony's passive face was starting to express the pain he felt. It was becoming too much for him.

''It's…it's okay, Just…just…just…just to tell him'' Tony whispered between his clenched teeth, again as he tried to fight against his own rebellious and stiff body. His body was giving him much insufferable pain. He had to tell Gibbs, to let him know the reason, to let _his father_ in.

''Okay Tony. The driver that hit them continued driving without even checking if any of them was still alive. Gabriella hit her head and her back and had an internal bleeding. She held Tony's fragile body close to her body even when she went unconscious….''

Gibbs did not guess he would ever hear a more saddening story than the one of Shannon and Kelly and how they were killed in cold blood by a drug dealer. Now he was rethinking how people could be so cruel. He never figured that Tony had such a bad experience as this one. He always knew from the different hints that his father ill-treated him, but never had he known anything about his mother_. How I ever missed that before?_

As Gibbs went on his own reverie, he never expected he would ever witness what happened next. He never thought he would ever see Abby, _his girl,_ do what she was about to do.

A small gasp was heard from the stiff body sitting on the bed. Tony was having difficulty inhaling oxygen even with the oxygen mask over his face. All sorts of machines started to make noises and different warnings.

Abby immediately moved from standing beside Gibbs and then sat on the bed her face inches away from Tony's own bluish reddening face. Her own pale face turned red as she started yelling at the top of her lung at the choking stiff body in front of her'' Tony, do not you dare do that again. Do not you dare leave me again, do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME?''

''TONY, DO NOT YOU DARE BREAK YOUR PROMISE, YOU PROMISED'' Abby yelled more at the gasping figure while Gibbs could not even register what was happening to take action.

Abby was looked hysteric but Gibbs knew that that was the only way to convince Tony not to give up on his own life. He stood on the other side of the bed trying to comfort Tony; he knew he had a bad experience as a child to lose his mother that way but what made him give up like that, what is it that made a one lively life-loving agent to turn to that depressed and desperate man sitting in front of him.

Tony did not respond to either Abby's shouts or Gibbs comforting words. Then Abby made the unthinkable. She yelled at Tony one last time saying ''TONY DO NOT YOU DARE BREAK YOUR PROMISE, AND LEAVE ME HER ALONE'' then she slapped his cheek hard.

The minute the hard slap met Tony's face, both Gibbs and Tony gasped. Gibbs could not even believe what Abby did. That was too much even for the famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs to see the most loving and caring person in the world turn that vicious. He even backed half a step before he realized it.

Tony, on the other hand, was having another trail of thoughts. He was just reliving one of his old terrors again; his mother's death only a reminder of the torture he had to endure after she died. It was getting too much for him. He could almost feel the pain his body went through back in those dark times.

_That's too much; I'm dispensable, why would someone need me. That's it _Tony decided as his lungs was starting to shut down from the lack of oxygen, before his depressing thoughts were cut by the loud shrieks of Abby demanding him to keep his promise.

He heard her pleading for him not to leave her alone again. He could also hear Gibbs comforting voice telling him that he would never give up on him, that he had his six. He could feel a hand being replaced on his back trying to assure him.

The next thing he felt was a sharp slap on his face. It took him a second to register what happened and he gasped as his eyes turned alive again as he looked at the reddening angry face in front of him. He saw the concern in her eyes. He realized the love she had for him and the concern she felt for him.

He would not do that to her. He would not put her again through that misery. He took a deep gulp of air and allowed the oxygen back to his suffocating lungs.

His eyes were still fixed on her face as small sobs started to escape her mouth. The strength she found to prevent him from going back where she cannot get him back was gone. She was starting to lose the power that made her slap his cheek in a full panic attack.

Her body shake as she realized how close Tony was to dying, _again._ She cried hard still sitting in front of Tony never breaking the eye-contact with Tony's eyes. She realized how her slap had waked him out of his old memories. Still, she felt guilty for slapping him, his cheek was already turning red and it would leave a mark. She felt Gibbs behind her giving her a squeeze to her shoulder, to let her know that he was there if she needed a hug, while still holding Tony's shoulder with his other hand.

She watched Tony's green eyes and how they turned alive the minute her hand connected with his cheek. He gave her the same look the last time she pulled him out of his torturing memories. She knew what he meant by that look.

She cupped his face in both her hands to force him to keep his eye-contact with her and said '' Tony…Tony you did nothing wrong, you…you'' Abby chocked as more tears ran down her face ''Just do not do that to me again, I almost lost you Tony''

A small whimper escaped the stiff face she held in her hand. '' Tony, Tony you matter. You're not dispensable'' Abby knew where Tony's thoughts were going.

A small sob came from the figure sitting in front of her.

Immediately Abby held Tony's tighter in her hands as she tried to keep eye-contact with him'' Tony…Tony listen to me. You ARE needed, you ARE Indispensable, you matter…''

More soft sobs came from the rigid face she held in her hands and a single tear escaped his green eyes. Tony never thought that anyone cared for him. His own father convinced him that the world would be a better place without him in it.

He knew Abby cared, but he did not know that she would do all of that for him. He could still feel Gibbs assuring hand on his shoulder, not firm or loose, just like he always did, gentle when needed. He never thought that someone would ever love him again the day his father told him that he was just a piece of garbage and no one will ever care for him. He sobbed; he did not believe that Abby would fight for him like that.

As if Abby knew what Tony was thinking of she said '' You matter to ME Tony, You matter to Gibbs'' she said as she held his face tighter in her hands as if to confirm her statement. She could also see Gibbs tightening his grip on Tony's shoulder.

''You matter to us Tony, you matter, you matter'' Abby repeated as more small sobs escaped Tony. She knew his past and his dark stories and how a long damage that his father did would not heal totally in the few years he worked in NCIS.

She would have killed his father and left any forensic evidence behind, if it was not for his weak state he gets in whenever his father is mentioned and how he asked her to leave it along and that the bastard did not deserve her dirtying her hands, he was just not worth it.

''You matter Tony, so please do not do that to us again. Please Tony, please, please, please do not let me go through this again, please''

''Sorry…sorry…sorry Abby'' Tony started repeating his apology over and over as an apologizing look was gracing his sad green eyes.

''It's ok Tony. Just do not give up again, ever'' Abby ordered gently and then kissed his forehead before climbing down from the bed.

The next thing Gibbs felt as he had watched the interaction happening in front of him was the crushing hug Abby engulfed him in. he would not admit it, but he needed that hug as much as Abbs did. He was stressed as much as she was.

He kissed her forehead and whispered some assurances in her ears before parting from their embrace.

Gibbs then leaned and looked deeply into his agent's green eyes. He knew that Tony needed his words now more than ever. His expressions softened as he talked '' You matter to me Tony, as a _son_, you're the son that I always wanted and never had'' he patted Tony's cheek before standing straight again, and was met with another crushing hug from Abby. She always communicated her feelings through her hugs and she knew when people needed it too.

''Thank you Gibbs, it means a lot to him'' Abby's muffled voice said as she kept holding into Gibbs.

He patted her on the back for a minute before she released him.

As much as he hated it, Gibbs needed to know the rest of the story. He needed to be able to comfort Tony. He needed to know the reason behind his misery and finish it for him.

''Now, let's continue with what happened. Now, Abby you have to be strong for Tony, and Tony we're here for you. Okay?'' Gibbs stated as her turned to the boss role again.

Abby nodded her head and both she and Gibbs gave Tony a gentle squeeze to his hand and shoulder.

----------------------------

**Wow, that was a long one. Liked it? Need more? **


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